Where is the last destination?
One day while walking I met with him; with him means exactly with him.
I talked to him one day. Talk means the ceaseless effort to make understand the language of the inner mind; with him means exactly with him. Yet my obsession never ends; my inner obsession. Yet my illusion never ends; the illusion of my burnt heart. Nevertheless, my continuous coexistence is with him; running with him always in the way from country to country; the ceaseless running in the way from starting to end; the ceaseless rowing towards the infinity. No endings of the running, no ending of the questioning. No ending of knowing & unknowingness. No limitation of told & untold. Roads do not have any endings, the many roads the many ways; and in those many ways advancing with no rest. Sometimes talking with shadow alone & unmindfully, is it really with the shadow or the conscience. Some answers are received very easily but some remains in gloominess and expands the range of awaiting, uneasiness, complexity. Exactly that feeling now-the question from the most calm boy of the class has been re pronouncing in the minds of the teacher, the unsettled thoughts are being scattered everything, the unpleasant obscure thoughts are creating the pain of discomfort in the cozy corner of mind. Discomfort cannot be endured for long, the teacher for that disclosed the question to all that he received from the calm student of the class, threw the question to all the students of the class –
“So, tell me, among you who will be able to give the reply of this question?” All the present students were looking at each other, could not understood who will give the reply, if any error happen, if any sin be committed for that?
After long silence Bishu Thakur, son of Goda Thakur stands from back row.
“Bishu, do you know the answer of this question?”
Bishu replied, “I can’t say from where the sin started first, but it can be said what will happen if sin is committed and can be surely said that the God was not aware of the starting of sin.”
The curious eyes of the teacher look towards all the faces of the students, from somebody among them may have the reply; the moment of hope comes near; another student stands from nearby named Mohammad Ali.
“So, Ali do you want to say anything?”
“Sir, what I want to say is – discussing much about God is sin. And the fact is that Allah, after creating the man by soil, told the angels to bow down to them but one angel disobeyed that order and with that disobeying the first sin stared. And for that Allah turned that angel to Satan as a punishment.”
As another student stands up the teacher hopes for new answer-
“What Michael, do you want to say something?
“Sir, so far I know, as per our holy Bible, God has made the man with His own image with the soil and accordingly gave the supreme power rule over everything in the world. God forbidden them to eat a fruit but Adam & Eve ate that as per the evil’s suggestion. By doing this Adam & Eve disobeyed the order of God. And that disobedience is the first sin of human. But God didn’t encourage committing sin. He gave them knowledge and wisdom so that they may rule over all thing and can get victory. So it is clearly to be said that – whether it was known to the God or not that human being will fall into sin should be ignored and we must be aware not to commit any sin and should repent for our sin. I think it is the great truth if we repent for our sin then he will forgive us.”
Again a bit silence, some time passed as such. The eyes of the class teacher of Kakonpur School near the dead river go outside through the broken window to far distance place. A wanton silence in the classroom and anxiety in the heart of the teacher starts to grow. The silent revolution deep in the soundless heart; talking to the conscience; in this way meeting with you regularly, as much searching from life after life. Talk to you, which never been heard by anybody; the language is not understood. So the darkness of the mind is not clear, my inner gloominess never ends. My understanding does not finish in one life, my road ends. Yet the answer of the last question has no reply. No ends of the illusion.
Yet in an afternoon in the inertia of chest someone comes and tells, I am with you from the beginning to the ending of time , turn you mind from sin , be repented and I will never be apart from you. I will not impose you the weight you will not able to carry rather at the end of the epoch I will remain with you as I am now.
Peon rings the bell of departure; everybody comes from the class with joy and freshness. Boys and girls are going back to home. But when the last bell of life ring on whether we can feel joy at that time and can go to our last destiny. Because there will be a new starting of our life. At there our another asylum will be started. When the teacher was sinking in this thought, a folk singer walks by singing out by the bank of the dead river –“What is sin in one country is blessing in another; to whom will I ask about the sin & blessing?” Slowly the tone mingles with the current of the water and the thoughts become withered. Another lyrical ballad comes in the canvas of conscience, “he who knows to do good things but does not, commits a sin.”
I have a lovely wife and two children.